For his latest series, Dutch jewellery designer Atelier Ted Noten has produced a range of items for the modern woman, from a handbag that includes lipstick and drug paraphernalia to a chastity belt that plays calming videos of the sea. 

Designed not so much for wearing as provoking, the ‘7 Necessities’ series is intended as a ‘survival package’. The products cover the gamut of anything a woman may need, the studio says, ‘to be her own man, without forfeiting her femininity’.

Of course, this version of womanhood might not include you or I. The items appear to have been designed for a sadistic stripper slash spy – one who may need to use a ‘urination device’ affixed to a traditional chatelaine at any moment.

The items are clearly designed to prod accepted visions of femininity, while fascinating and offending in equal measure. But once the initial horror wears off (a mask designed to inject Botox directly into the face?) the items wouldn’t look so out of place in the back pages of fashion magazines or, in the case of a radar device for catching men, Cosmopolitan. 

Produced in a 3D printer and affixed with a crust of precious stones and metals, the series is designed to walk the line between cheap and couture, impractical jewellery and wearable art.

It's a shiny, potent collection of drugs, guns and makeup, comprising a biting send-up of the nihilistic femme-fatale you might just see on next year’s runways.

The 7 Necessities

Trophy Helmet: This fur-lined helmet includes tools for finding ‘eternal love,’ including a radar device and a telescope.

Chastity Belt: While the conventional chastity belt was intended to prevent sex, this gold-encrusted design is intended to both seduce and relax, including a built-in screen that plays videos of the sea.

Chatelaine: A traditional tool-kit for the fashionable woman, this device includes a 'urination device' and a credit card fan.

Dior 002 Gun: A handgun with built-in thumb drive, lip gloss, diamonds and pills.

Glasses for women on the warpath: Nylon sunglasses with hidden compartments, including one for a crystal ice pick, and featuring a single golden eyebrow.

Beauty Mask: Inspired by Nefertiti, this mask ‘sculpts’ the face, with holes intended for injecting Botox and other fillers, while a ‘golden suicide pill offers a last resort’.

Purse of Wonders: A fold-out purse including whale sperm oil for anti-wrinkles, wedding rings, drug paraphernalia, and a crystal ball pf dubious purpose.

Photos courtesy Atelier Ted Noten.